Needing a mentor | Single Parents | Parents Forum

Hi Julie,

I can understand your situation because my sister recently went through a similar experience. Her young son, about 7 years old was showing a lot of behavior problems – being disobedient, a little rowdy and defiant. What he desperately needed was a father figure around. My sister being a single parent was absolutely at her wit's end. My husband did chip in the best way he could and used to talk to the boy man-to-man, you know what I mean? But it could not happen on a daily basis for obvious reasons. My sister was really perturbed and worried.

Finally she got around to understanding that what the boy needed was not really a father figure but simple, easy to understand and appreciate wisdom which is so necessary for growing children. By wisdom I mean, the basic values of life, the essential life enriching values of love, caring, honesty, kindness, compassion, respect and tolerance. This is what the essential need is – and these values can be ingrained in the child by either the mother or the father or both. It is not something only guys can do or women can do – these are universal values.

She started spending quality time with her child, going out with him, playing with him, talking to him, reading books with him, watching motivational life wisdom films and inspiring children videos with him that actually give such lessons in a manner and language that children would understand. She deliberately avoided cribbing and complaining and this positive approach worked magic with her son. He gradually  changed into a positive, performing boy who gained in confidence and tried his best to be a support to his mom.

So let me tell you from experience, what children need is mentoring on life values and it is important to notice how you can motivate your child. Motivate your child, be with him, be his friend and you will not need the support of another person to help you out on this.

I hope this helps your friend!

Olivia