Spanking | General Parenting Discussion | Parents Forum

Matt said:

What's your opinion on spanking? We used to spank our kids when they were younger, but I'm not so sure we did the right thing knowing now that they're RAD (at least some of them). Our daughter, whose the most RAD, didn't respond at all to spanking. Some of the kids have though.

Just curious what you all think, whether your kids are RAD or not.

 So many adopted children have withstood beating and harsh treatment spanking may bring on flashbacks; and, just add to their PTSD.  To survive many of these abused children have 'turned off' their sensory system and don't feel the spanking anyway.  Many will sit there and laugh at you instead of crying thinking "is this all you have? I've had worse." and of course YOU really get bad behaviors afterwards when the child decides to get back at you.  Meanwhile, the only thing spanking really does is relieve your stress and anger.  

When my oldest daughter was young I use to spank her then a neighbor asked why it's ok for me to hit her but not her hit anyone… made me think "that's true".  I'd been raised being spanked so asked "what else is there?" Now years later I try to discipline not punish.

Matt said:

I don't really consider it "hitting them" though I guess someone could argue that. I believe it's ok to spank kids if you do it in the right way, and love them up afterwards – unless they are RAD. Everything you said about how they react to spankings is correct, and it just doesn't do any good. They've been hurt so bad, nothing you can do to them as far as punishment makes much impact.

I had never thought of spanking as 'hitting them' either.  I agree there are better disciplines but sometimes spanking the ol' bottom gets their attention and they know they've over stepped the limits and change their behavior, at least for that thing, for awhile.  Yes, there is a right way and wrong way of spanking.