Working with kids who have attachment issues can give you tunnel vision. Really, any kiddos with child behavior problems can monopolize your time and drain your energy. I have found that I have to be purposeful in planning fun when one kid’s problem behavior is using a lot of my time.
My kids are always up for a good tickle, so just catching them as they are walking by and tickling for a minute or two gets both of our laughter juices flowing. Nothing perks up a house more than the sound of laughter. Or I will pull out a quick board game in that dead time right before or right after dinner. Uno is usually quick and 2 or more can play and there is not a lot of setup to get going.
Another thing I like to do is snuggle with them. I pick 1 or 2 each day that get extended snuggle time. Crawling beside me in bed right before bedtime and telling silly jokes makes for a great end to some very long days. Or sitting on my lap (yes even my 13 yr old!) in the mornings while I am drinking coffee starts both of our hearts off the right way!
Or if I am on the run from doctor to counselor to family therapy, whatever kiddo is in the car might get a $1 cone compliments of McD’s! I park in the lot for just a minute and have some eye to eye contact with them while slurping away. It always pays back in spades.
I have found if I have these moments to look forward to, the tense moments from my “working on their life” kiddo is much easier bear.
Do you have kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder?
The best book we’ve found for parenting our RAD kids is When Love Is Not Enough by Nancy Thomas. For parents of children with Reactive Attachment Disorder this is a must have.
We’ve also had much success with Total Transformation by James Lehman. Though it’s not written specifically for RAD kids, the techniques we’ve learned in it have worked very well for ours.
About the author: By Julie HellstromJulie is an awesome parent (along with her husband Matt) to five adopted kiddos and the owner of the Positive Parenting Skills website.
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