One of the tools James Lehman talks about using in the Total Transformation Program is called “transition time”, and it’s simply having a short period of time when you get home from work, or your kid get’s home from school, when you’re not to be bugged by the rest of the family.
You get a chance to get settled in, put your briefcase or books down, maybe have a snack or check your email. Then, after 10 minutes of so you can take on the cares of the house. I can tell you, this tool has done wonders for our house, as has many of the others he suggests.
Here’s a fun video we created to illustrate how this works. Enjoy!
Want to learn more ways to have peace in your house? Check out Total Transformation today!
Filed under Positive Parenting Skills, Total Transformation Review 
One of the ineffective parenting roles James Lehman talks about in the Total Transformation is the over-negotiator. Here’s how that manifests itself in our house.
It is hard to set reasonable rules for our family. And even harder when I try to enforce them that I meet the “master negotiator”. You know what I am talking about, the kid who likes to put his toe over the line. Wants to just see where you will budge. It is the hardest to not give in too.
I like to not always be a “no” mom, so I want to try to find places where I can say yes. But I have found this is not normally a good area to do this. Why? Because this tells the child that your rules are not firm. And I know when I have caved because I get this helpless, I am not in control feeling.
Now I am not talking about general things, like “can I put my socks in the dirty clothes after I save off this video game?”, but more about, “can I stay out 15 extra minutes tonight?”. Which will turn into 20 tomorrow and on and on. So I have to pick which rules I will not negotiate and stick to them.
Then I look for other areas that give me the “yes” mom happiness that I want. It turns into a win-win situation because the child knows your no means no and that creates security for him.
For many more tips and techniques on how to not be a negotiator, check out The Total Transformation. It’s one of the best child behavior programs I’ve ever seen – it worked for our family, I’m sure it can work for yours!
Filed under Parenting, Positive Parenting Skills, Total Transformation Review
Since we are going through the Total Transformation DVD’s and CD’s, we thought it would be good to explain what the Total Transformation workbook is all about, since it’s a major part of the program.
The Total Transformation workbook is 118 pages, and it starts out explaining a little about the program, and a little about James Lehman who came up with it. Right away after that it starts the training – it suggests you watch the Jump Start DVD, then you’re instructed to answer some questions about your child. These questions are designed to help you identify the behaviors that your kid needs help with.
Next, you’re supposed to go to lesson one in the workbook, and taking a pre-test to lesson one. After you take the test, you listen to CD #1 and then go through the exercises and/or additional information in the workbook. After lesson one in the workbook, there is a post-test, exactly the same as the pre-test, for you to take and see if your answers changed. The post-test isn’t in every chapter, but the pre-test is.
A few of examples of the true/false questions he asks in the workbook pre-test and post-test are:
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Children act disrespectfully or destructively because they’ve lost control of themselves.
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Parents have to work harder to understand a child who is behaving inappropriately.
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Out-of-control behavior is a sign of mental illness.
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Kids need to see something as “fair” in order for them to take it seriously.
The answers to the above questions? 1: False 2: True 3: False 4: False
Did you get them all right? When I first took the test I only got 3 out of 10 right! Here’s what’s neat, though - it’s never too late to get started with this program. All of my kids, including my 15 year old, have improved behaviors from the techniques I’m now using.
The Total Transformation workbook goes through each CD in a similar fashion – recap, training, special words from Mr. Lehman, and tests. It’s really good, and easy to do. He suggests you take it one CD per week, and work on one, two, ten, or all of the techniques suggested. I agree – there is a lot in there, and you don’t want to overwhelm yourself.
Next post – the Jump Start DVD.
Filed under Parenting, Positive Parenting Skills, Total Transformation Review
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