One of the ineffective parenting roles James Lehman talks about in the Total Transformation is the over-negotiator. Here’s how that manifests itself in our house.
It is hard to set reasonable rules for our family. And even harder when I try to enforce them that I meet the “master negotiator”. You know what I am talking about, the kid who likes to put his toe over the line. Wants to just see where you will budge. It is the hardest to not give in too.
I like to not always be a “no” mom, so I want to try to find places where I can say yes. But I have found this is not normally a good area to do this. Why? Because this tells the child that your rules are not firm. And I know when I have caved because I get this helpless, I am not in control feeling.
Now I am not talking about general things, like “can I put my socks in the dirty clothes after I save off this video game?”, but more about, “can I stay out 15 extra minutes tonight?”. Which will turn into 20 tomorrow and on and on. So I have to pick which rules I will not negotiate and stick to them.
Then I look for other areas that give me the “yes” mom happiness that I want. It turns into a win-win situation because the child knows your no means no and that creates security for him.
For many more tips and techniques on how to not be a negotiator, check out The Total Transformation. It’s one of the best child behavior programs I’ve ever seen – it worked for our family, I’m sure it can work for yours!
One of the tools James Lehman talks about using in the Total Transformation Program is called “transition time”, and it’s simply having a short period of time when you get home from work, or your kid get’s home from school, when you’re not to be bugged by the rest of the family.
You get a chance to get settled in, put your briefcase or books down, maybe have a snack or check your email. Then, after 10 minutes of so you can take on the cares of the house. I can tell you, this tool has done wonders for our house, as has many of the others he suggests.
Here’s a fun video we created to illustrate how this works. Enjoy!
Want to learn more ways to have peace in your house? Check out Total Transformation today!
Focus Formula - Click On Picture For More Info!
I would like to share our story with ADHD natural remedies. Our family has tried all sorts of avenues, and we have found that each child is unique in their response to different alternatives. We have explored and found success with different medications, behavioral modification programs, and natural ADHD remedies. This article is focusing on our experiences with natural ADHD remedies.
As it seems to be more common than we thought, 3 of our 5 adopted kiddos have ADHD or ADD. Our 15-year old took medication for 4 years, but in her “I am my own person” stage has refused to continue. Sadly, her impulsivity has got her into trouble some.
My son, who is eleven, has started on some medication and it has helped him with bedwetting at night, and is doing well. He can now better enjoy sleepovers.
My littlest lamb also suffers from ADHD, and it is only one of many health concerns he is dealing with. Some of the things that are making his ADHD near impossible to deal with are sensory integration disorder, and cerebral palsy. Smells out of the ordinary and textures in his mouth his body will physically reject. After attempting a couple of different medications, we discovered that this was the reason that he could not take his meds (we have set up a counseling fund already due to this setback!).
Believe me, I tried everything! Hide it in ice cream, sprinkle it on waffles, pushing it back on his tongue. He just couldn’t swallow it and he could definitely taste the bitterness. So then we tried the patch.
Unfortunately it was only available in stimulant form, which made things dicey in that when the medication wore off he exhibited a destructive streak and would be sobbing. This was not getting us anywhere.
A naturopath suggested that caffeine could balance out the symptoms our son was showing. So, much to his delight, he enjoyed a Diet Pepsi with his lunch everyday for about six months. It couldn’t contain sugar as this would be counterproductive. There wasn’t much change. The doctor informed us to look into other issues besides the ADHD. I couldn’t take anymore.
Exasperated, I googled “my son has ADHD and can’t take meds”. I thought I might be on to something when several homeopathic remedies came up. After doing some research, I took a hard look at Focus Formula from Native Remedies. On the upside we found that it was made from all natural ingredients, and on the downside, we found that it would take at least three weeks before we would see results. We forged ahead anyway.
The results? I just ordered my second bottle. My baby went from earning zero points for staying on task at school to earning 11 (the maximum). After 3 months, he is able to self start on his homework, stay focused on it, earn an average of 8 points at school and his frustration level is way down. The best thing – drops instead of pills. We put it in root beer, and he slugs it right down! He knows it’s in there, he even does it himself!
I am ecstatic and he is happier. Success in life has a way of doing that for a boy! If you’re having trouble and have the same “pill swallowing” problems that we did, maybe one of the natural ADHD remedies like Focus Formula is for your little one.
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