I was first introduced to The Total Transformation by my neighbor. She is the mother of an eight year old autistic child and she told me that it was doing wonders in helping her to parent him. She said that she thought it might help with our five strong-willed kiddos and that I should check it out. I finally agreed, and I’m really glad I did.
What I discovered was a program by a guy named James Lehman, who has a masters in social work, and has worked with troubled teens and children for many years. The thing that struck me right away was that Mr. Lehman was very honest and to-the-point – he tells it like it is – and I like that. His observations are simple, and the tools that he gives you to work with the kids are doable. His main idea, as far as I could see at first glance, was this:
Children need to learn to problem-solve
Mr. Lehman’s assertion is that kids don’t know how to problem-solve, and that’s why they act out in inappropriate ways. It’s a coping mechanism they’ve developed to force someone else to solve the problem at hand for them. What he does with The Total Transformation Program is to give us as parents the tools we need to train our kids to solve their problems.
It’s as simple as that – most parents are pretty good parents, and they really want to help their kids, but they just don’t know how. What James Lehman does is teach us how, and what I’d like to do in this Total Transformation portion of this blog is to share some of the things I’ve learned from the program.
You might be wondering if I’m making money by promoting this program, and the answer is yes! If you buy it after visiting my website, I will earn a commission. The truth is, I tried it and liked it so much, that I decided it would be something I would feel proud to support and promote, and as a bonus, I get a commission if you buy it.
When you are waiting to adopt a child, especially your first, it can seem to take forever, regardless of how long or short the wait actually is. One way to pass the time is to start your adoption scrapbook album now. As you begin to record some of your thoughts at the time you’ll see why it’s so important to still take the time after your child arrives.
[1] Adoption albums don’t have to be overwhelming. The best place to start is with a list of topics about the adoption experience. These can be found on a variety of web sites including my own which has over 150 topics.
[2] Decide what style of book you want. You can buy a hard-cover book at your favorite bookstore that resembles a typical baby book. Or you may want to consider purchasing a pre-made adoption album, or even hiring a freelance scrapbooker to do a pre-designed book for you. One of the best options in my opinion is the Adoption Scrapbook Album which is twenty pages of overlays, where you get to choose five that specifically fits your child’s experience. These transparency overlays make your book look like it was designed by a professional, but with the price tag of doing it yourself.
[3] Go visit your local craft store or scrapbook store to get some stickers and other embellishments. I rarely find more than a couple that specifically mention adoption, but buy some that have sayings about family, baby happenings, love, and other life events. You can use these in your book when you have a little spot to fill. It adds some style.
[4] Get out your digital camera and snap photos around the house that first year of your child’s life (and later too!) Photographs of that day-to-day stuff like spilled Cheerios all over the living room floor and the towering pile of laundry will give you interesting journaling topics. Down the road you will be so glad you journaled about and photographed the uneventful things as well as the vacations. Your child will have a terrific time reading about it too.
[5] Be imaginative, but don’t get obsessive. Unless you want to make new friends, don’t join “cropping parties.” Buy a decent paper cutter, only cut your photos with straight edges (avoiding circles will save hours), matte your photos using solid-color card stock, and purchase the patterned paper in bulk (craft stores call them “slabs.”).
[6] Write it down now. It’s a good idea to get the adoption scrapbook album done sooner rather than later so your toddler can look at it, at least start keeping notes as you go so you will have lots of journaling ideas to choose from. Purchase a small notepad to carry around in the diaper bag so you have it handy when you want to write down something that happened or just record your thoughts.
My son turns five-years-old this month. The first year of his life I grew so tired of strangers telling me, “It goes so fast.” Now I find myself smiling at little babies and telling the new mothers, “Cherish it. It goes so fast.” Adoption is such an amazing experience and every time you look into your little one’s eyes you think you will remember every single moment. But our brains can only hold so much and our children do change quickly. Record those treasured memories now.
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